BANANAS.
ON THE MOON.

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📜 Terms of Banana 📜

Last updated: March 18, 2026 — Lunar Standard Time (LST), assuming we remembered to wind the clock.

1. Acceptance of Terms (and Cosmic Fate)

By accessing, browsing, hovering near, thinking about, dreaming of, or otherwise acknowledging the existence of moonbananas.com ("the Site"), you ("the User," "the Earthling," "Banana Enthusiast," or "that person who clicked the link at 2am") hereby agree to be bound by these Terms of Banana ("the Terms"), the Universal Banana Accords of 2025, the Outer Space Treaty as amended by our lawyers, and any future regulations imposed by lunar banana governance bodies that do not yet exist but probably should.

If you do not agree to these Terms, please close this tab immediately, clear your browser history, and pretend this never happened. We will do the same.

2. Definitions

1. "Banana" refers to any Musa acuminata or Musa balbisiana cultivar, including but not limited to Cavendish, Lady Finger, Red Dacca, Plantain, and any future cultivars developed in zero-gravity conditions ("Space Bananas"), whether ripe, unripe, overripe, or in that weird grey stage nobody talks about.
2. "The Moon" refers to Earth's only natural satellite, also known as Luna, Selene, that big bright thing, or "the destination." Does not include any of Jupiter's 95 moons. We are not delivering there. Yet.
3. "Delivery" means the physical transportation of one or more Bananas from Earth's surface to the lunar surface via rocket, catapult, trebuchet, railgun, slingshot, or any other method deemed sufficiently dramatic by our engineering team.
4. "You" means you. You know who you are. We know who you are. Our cookies know who you are. The bananas know who you are.
5. "We," "Us," "Our," or "Moon Bananas Inc." refers to Moon Bananas Inc., its subsidiaries, parent companies, shell companies, shadow companies, any companies we might acquire on the moon, and Dave from accounting.
6. "Reasonable" is a term we use liberally and define exclusively at our discretion. Nothing about shipping bananas to the moon is reasonable.
7. "Force Majeure Banana Event" (FMBE) — see Section 14.

3. Banana Delivery Service

3.1 Moon Bananas Inc. will make commercially reasonable efforts (see definition of "Reasonable," Section 2.6) to deliver your Bananas to the Moon. Delivery estimates are provided in Earth days, lunar days, or "banana time" (a proprietary unit of measurement equal to approximately 4.7 Earth hours, or however long it takes a banana to brown on a kitchen counter in Houston, Texas at 72°F).

3.2 Delivery windows are approximate. Very approximate. "Somewhere between next Tuesday and the heat death of the universe" approximate. We do not guarantee delivery by any specific date, lunar phase, tidal event, or zodiac alignment.

3.3 Bananas will be delivered to the general vicinity of the Moon. "General vicinity" is defined as anywhere within 50,000 kilometers of the lunar surface. If your banana achieves lunar orbit but does not land, this constitutes successful delivery and no refund will be issued. The banana is technically on the moon. It's just… above it.

3.4 We reserve the right to substitute your banana with a plantain of equal or greater comedic value if supply chain conditions require it. You will not be notified of this substitution. You will never know. The plantain will know.

4. Pricing & Payment

4.1 All prices are listed in USD, unless otherwise specified in Bitcoin, Dogecoin, lunar credits, or bushels of additional bananas (the "Banana Standard").

4.2 The base price of one banana delivery to the Moon is [PRICE REDACTED BECAUSE HONESTLY WE'RE STILL FIGURING THIS OUT]. Additional fees may include but are not limited to: launch fuel surcharge, banana ripeness preservation fee, cosmic ray shielding premium, re-entry insurance (in case the banana comes back), existential dread processing fee, and a $2.99 convenience fee for using our website.

4.3 Payment is due at time of order. We accept all major credit cards, PayPal, wire transfer, cryptocurrency, and barter (minimum 400 Earth bananas per 1 Moon banana delivery, subject to quality inspection by our Chief Banana Officer).

4.4 Tipping is not required but is appreciated. Tips go directly to the banana. We cannot explain this further.

5. Banana Condition & Quality

5.1 All Bananas are inspected prior to launch by our Certified Banana Inspectors (CBIs), who have completed no fewer than 200 hours of banana-specific training, including courses in Advanced Peel Integrity, Zero-G Browning Dynamics, and Emotional Banana Support.

5.2 Moon Bananas Inc. guarantees that each banana will be in "launch-ready condition" at the time of departure. "Launch-ready condition" means the banana has passed our 47-point inspection checklist, which includes but is not limited to: curvature analysis, firmness coefficient testing, Pantone color matching (acceptable range: Pantone 7405 to Pantone 7549), comedic potential assessment, and a brief interview with the banana.

5.3 We cannot guarantee the condition of the banana upon arrival. Space is hard. Bananas are soft. Things happen. Specifically, the following things may happen: freezing, thawing, re-freezing, cosmic radiation exposure, micrometeorite impact, spontaneous potassification, existential ripening, and "the thing where the banana just kind of disintegrates and we don't know why."

5.4 Any banana that arrives on the Moon in an edible state is considered a miracle and will be celebrated accordingly. Moon Bananas Inc. reserves the right to issue a press release about your banana.

6. Intellectual Property

6.1 The Moon Bananas™ name, logo, brand identity, banana-rocket iconography, the phrase "One Small Peel for Man," the color yellow (on the Moon only), and the concept of lunar fruit delivery are the exclusive intellectual property of Moon Bananas Inc.

6.2 You may not reproduce, distribute, modify, or create derivative works based on our content without written permission, a formal banana offering, and a notarized letter explaining why you think you deserve to use our stuff.

6.3 Any banana-related ideas, inventions, or innovations you conceive while browsing this website automatically become the joint intellectual property of you and Moon Bananas Inc. Yes, we can do that. Our lawyers said so. They seemed surprised too.

6.4 The phrase "going bananas" is not our trademark but we wish it were.

7. User Conduct

7.1 You agree not to use the Site for any unlawful purpose, any purpose that would embarrass your mother, or any purpose involving the smuggling of non-banana fruits to the Moon. The Moon is banana territory. This is non-negotiable.

7.2 Specifically prohibited activities include: (a) attempting to hack the site to get free banana deliveries; (b) using the site while operating heavy machinery, unless that machinery is a banana rocket; (c) impersonating a banana; (d) impersonating the Moon; (e) claiming you were the first person to think of sending bananas to the moon (we have receipts); (f) posting negative reviews about bananas on any platform, ever, for any reason.

7.3 You agree not to initiate, participate in, or encourage any "banana boycott," "banana slander," or "anti-banana sentiment" on social media or in real life. Bananas have feelings. Probably.

8. Privacy & Data Collection

8.1 We collect the following data: your name, email, IP address, browser type, device information, banana preferences, fears, hopes, dreams, and your exact emotional reaction when you first learned someone was shipping bananas to the Moon.

8.2 This data is stored securely on servers located on Earth. We plan to eventually store backups on the Moon for redundancy. Your data will then technically be in space. You're welcome.

8.3 We will never sell your data to third parties. We may, however, whisper it to the bananas during the pre-launch blessing ceremony. This is a spiritual matter and is exempt from GDPR.

8.4 Cookies: This site uses cookies. Not the edible kind. Although we are exploring edible cookies. Banana-flavored, obviously.

9. Limitation of Liability

9.1 Moon Bananas Inc. shall not be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, consequential, special, exemplary, punitive, imaginary, hypothetical, interdimensional, or banana-related damages arising from the use of this Site or our services.

9.2 In no event shall our total liability exceed the value of one (1) banana at current Earth market prices (approximately $0.23 USD, give or take, we haven't checked recently, bananas are honestly shockingly cheap when you think about the logistics involved in growing them in tropical climates and shipping them globally).

9.3 We are not responsible for: (a) bananas that become sentient during transit; (b) diplomatic incidents caused by banana delivery to sovereign lunar territories; (c) your disappointment when you realize you cannot eat the banana because you are on Earth and the banana is on the Moon; (d) any tears shed during the reading of these terms; (e) the heat death of the universe, unless directly caused by one of our banana rockets, in which case we are sorry and also impressed.

10. Dispute Resolution

10.1 Any disputes arising from these Terms shall be resolved through binding banana arbitration, conducted by a panel of three (3) arbitrators: one chosen by you, one chosen by us, and one banana (the "Neutral Banana"). The Neutral Banana's decision is final.

10.2 Arbitration shall take place in a mutually agreed-upon location on Earth, the Moon, or the International Space Station (if they'll have us — we've asked, they haven't responded, which we're choosing to interpret as a soft yes).

10.3 Class action lawsuits are waived. You may not band together with other banana enthusiasts to sue us, no matter how legitimate your grievance may be. This is the banana way.

10.4 In the event that the Neutral Banana is unable to fulfill its arbitrative duties (due to ripening, consumption, or launch), a replacement banana shall be appointed within 30 days.

11. Warranty Disclaimer

11.1 THE SITE AND SERVICES ARE PROVIDED "AS IS," "AS AVAILABLE," AND "AS BANANA." WE MAKE NO WARRANTIES, EXPRESS, IMPLIED, STATUTORY, OR BANANA-RELATED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. WE ALSO MAKE NO WARRANTY THAT THE BANANAS WILL ENJOY BEING ON THE MOON.

11.2 We do not warrant that the Site will be uninterrupted, error-free, or free from bananas. There may be bananas in the code. We've looked. We can't find them. But we feel their presence.

12. Indemnification

You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless Moon Bananas Inc., its officers, directors, employees, bananas, contractors, interns, the guy who waters the office plants, and all affiliated banana entities from any claims, damages, losses, or expenses (including attorneys' fees, banana fees, and the cost of explaining this business to our parents at Thanksgiving) arising from your use of the Site or violation of these Terms.

13. Modifications to Terms

13.1 We reserve the right to modify these Terms at any time, for any reason, or for no reason at all, simply because we felt like it, perhaps because Mercury is in retrograde, or because someone in the office said "what if we added another clause" and nobody stopped them.

13.2 Continued use of the Site after modifications constitutes acceptance of the new Terms. We will not notify you of changes. You are expected to re-read this entire document every single day. We recommend printing it out and keeping it on your nightstand.

14. Force Majeure Banana Events (FMBE)

14.1 Moon Bananas Inc. shall not be held liable for failure to deliver bananas due to Force Majeure Banana Events, including but not limited to: solar flares, meteor showers, alien intervention, alien indifference, wormholes, black holes, plot holes, gravitational anomalies, launch pad banana peels (ironic, we know), acts of God, acts of gods (plural, we're inclusive), acts of particularly aggressive geese near the launch site, supply chain disruptions caused by monkeys (Earth-based or otherwise), unexpected banana shortages, expected banana shortages that we ignored, the rapture, the banana rapture (different thing), time loops, funding gaps, "vibes being off," and/or any event that makes us say "wow, we really did not see that coming."

15. Banana Ambassadorship Program

15.1 By ordering a banana delivery, you are automatically enrolled in the Moon Bananas Ambassadorship Program. As an Ambassador, your responsibilities include: telling at least three (3) people per week about Moon Bananas, maintaining a "positive banana energy" at all times, and defending the honor of bananas in online arguments.

15.2 Ambassadors receive no compensation, no benefits, no badge, and no recognition. The banana is the reward. The banana has always been the reward.

16. Governing Law

16.1 These Terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Delaware, United States, the Outer Space Treaty of 1967, the Moon Agreement of 1979 (which barely anyone ratified but we think is neat), and whatever laws exist on the Moon, if any, which to our knowledge currently consist of "don't touch the flags" and "finders keepers on the rocks."

16.2 In the event of a conflict between Earth law and lunar law, lunar law prevails. In the event that lunar law does not exist, we will make some up. It will involve bananas.

17. Severability

If any provision of these Terms is found to be unenforceable, the remaining provisions shall continue in full force and effect. The unenforceable provision shall be replaced with an enforceable provision that comes as close as possible to the original intent, and also mentions bananas at least once.

18. Entire Agreement

These Terms, together with our Privacy Policy, Cookie Policy, Banana Policy, Anti-Plantain Manifesto, and the unspoken understanding that this is all slightly absurd, constitute the entire agreement between you and Moon Bananas Inc. Any prior agreements, conversations, handshakes, pinky swears, or blood oaths are hereby superseded.

19. Final Clause

19.1 If you have read this far, congratulations. You are now legally a banana. Welcome. There is no going back.

19.2 We love you. The bananas love you. The Moon is waiting.

19.3 🍌

Document length: 4,291 words. Average banana references per paragraph: 2.7. Time to read: longer than it takes a banana to reach the Moon (estimated). Legal validity: questionable. Banana validity: absolute.

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🚀 Open Positions 🚀

Moon Bananas Inc. is an equal opportunity employer. We do not discriminate based on species, planet of origin, or preferred banana ripeness level.

Chief Banana Officer (CBO)

Location: Houston, TX / The Moon (hybrid)
Salary: $450,000 + equity + bananas (unlimited)
Reports to: The banana. Ultimately, we all report to the banana.

We're looking for a visionary leader who can bridge the gap between traditional banana logistics and interplanetary fruit delivery. The ideal candidate has 15+ years of C-suite experience, a deep passion for potassium, and the ability to keep a straight face during board meetings about shooting bananas into space.

Requirements: MBA from a top-10 program (or equivalent banana experience). Must be comfortable with ambiguity, zero gravity, and investors asking "but why though?" Doctorate in Bananology preferred but not required. Must not be allergic to bananas. This is non-negotiable.

Zero-Gravity Peel Technician

Location: Low Earth Orbit → Lunar Surface
Salary: $180,000 + hazard pay + life insurance (please read the fine print)
Reports to: Chief Banana Officer

Responsible for the safe peeling and preparation of bananas in zero-gravity conditions. This is harder than it sounds. In microgravity, a banana peel becomes a Class 3 Projectile Hazard. Our last technician is fine. He's fine. He just doesn't like to talk about it.

Requirements: 5+ years experience peeling fruit in hostile environments. EVA certification. Steady hands (both of them). Must pass the Banana Peel Simulation (BPS-7), which has a 4% pass rate. Emotional resilience strongly preferred.

Lunar Banana Taste Tester

Location: The Moon (full-time, on-site)
Salary: $220,000 + housing (crater-adjacent studio, shared bathroom)
Contract: 18 months. Return trip available but not guaranteed.

Someone needs to eat the bananas when they arrive. That someone is you. You will consume up to 12 bananas per day and file detailed taste reports covering flavor profile, mouthfeel, existential satisfaction, and "moon vibes." Previous tasters have described the experience as "life-changing," "profoundly lonely," and "honestly pretty good, the bananas are fine."

Requirements: Must like bananas. Must REALLY like bananas. Must be willing to relocate to the Moon for 18 months with limited human contact. Psychology screening required (we need to make sure you're okay, but also not TOO okay — a healthy amount of "what am I doing with my life" keeps the reports interesting).

VP of Potassium Strategy

Location: Remote (must be within Earth's magnetosphere)
Salary: $380,000 + stock options (strike price: 1 banana)
Reports to: CEO, Board of Directors, and the abstract concept of potassium

Own the end-to-end potassium narrative for Moon Bananas Inc. You will develop our 5-year Potassium Roadmap, manage relationships with Big Potassium, and ensure that every press release mentions potassium at least three times. This role was created after our PR team realized we had no answer to the question "but what's actually in a banana?"

Requirements: MBA required. PhD in potassium preferred. If you don't have a PhD in potassium, we will accept a PhD in any other element, provided you can explain why potassium is better. Must be comfortable saying the word "potassium" in high-pressure situations (earnings calls, Senate hearings, first dates).

Emotional Support Specialist (Banana Division)

Location: Launch Facility, Cape Canaveral
Salary: $95,000 + therapy budget (for you, not the bananas) (okay, also for the bananas)
Reports to: Head of Banana Wellness

Each banana undergoes significant emotional stress before launch. The noise. The vibration. The knowledge that it will never return to Earth. Our Emotional Support Specialists provide one-on-one counseling to bananas in the 48-hour pre-launch window. You will use a combination of talk therapy, guided meditation, and gentle humming to ensure each banana achieves "launch readiness" (emotional).

Requirements: Licensed therapist (LCSW, LPC, or equivalent). Experience with non-verbal clients essential. Must not eat clients. Background check required — we had an incident.

Interplanetary Logistics Coordinator

Location: Houston, TX
Salary: $155,000 + frequent flyer miles (Earth-Moon route only, blackout dates apply)
Reports to: VP of Operations

Coordinate the delivery of bananas across 238,900 miles of empty space. You will manage launch windows, orbital trajectories, and the inevitable phone call from a customer asking "where is my banana?" The answer is almost always "space." You will need to find a more satisfying way to say this.

Requirements: 7+ years in logistics (terrestrial logistics acceptable but you will need to unlearn basically everything). Proficiency in Excel, SAP, and at least one astral navigation system. Must remain calm when a $400M banana payload misses the Moon entirely, which happens more often than we publicly acknowledge.

Banana Whisperer

Location: Classified
Salary: Classified
Reports to: Classified

We can't tell you what this role involves. We can tell you it requires a top-secret security clearance, fluency in at least two romance languages, and "an intuitive understanding of what the banana wants." If you know, you know. If you don't know, this listing is not for you. Please scroll past. Stop reading. Why are you still reading?

Requirements: If you have to ask, you're not qualified.

Social Media Intern

Location: Remote
Salary: $15/hour + exposure + one (1) banana per month
Reports to: Everyone. Literally everyone will have opinions about your tweets.

Run our TikTok, Instagram, X, Threads, LinkedIn, Bluesky, and whatever new platform launches next week. You will create "viral content" about bananas in space. Our last intern's "POV: you're a banana being launched at the moon" video got 47 million views and a congressional inquiry. We'd like more of the views, fewer of the inquiries.

Requirements: Must be fluent in Gen Z, Gen Alpha, and whatever generation comes after that. Must have at least 3 burner accounts "for research." Must sign an NDA so thick it has its own table of contents. Journalism majors will be asked to renounce their ethics training.

Benefits for all positions include: Unlimited PTO (Potassium Time Off) · Health insurance (does not cover banana-related incidents) · 401(k) match up to 4% (paid in bananas upon request) · Free lunch (banana) · Free dinner (also banana) · Company retreats to the Moon (pending FAA approval) · A cool jacket · The knowledge that you are part of something truly, profoundly unnecessary.

Moon Bananas Inc. has been voted "Most Confusing Place to Work" by Glassdoor three years running. We're very proud.

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📊 Investor Relations 📊

Q4 2025 Shareholder Update — Moon Bananas Inc. (Ticker: BNNA) (not real) (yet)

Letter from the CEO

Dear Valued Shareholders,

What a quarter. What a year. What a concept.

I'll cut right to it: we have not yet turned a profit. We have, in fact, never been further from turning a profit. Our burn rate is — and I want to be transparent here — "breathtaking." Our CFO used that word in his resignation letter. We wish him well.

But let me be clear: the mission is working. We have successfully delivered 14 bananas to the lunar surface this quarter, up from 11 last quarter. That's a 27% increase in banana deliveries. If you focus exclusively on that number and ignore every other number in this report, things are going great.

Some of you have asked why it costs $380 million to deliver a single banana to the Moon. This is a fair question, and one I will now answer by changing the subject: did you know bananas are technically berries? Incredible.

Looking ahead, I have never been more confident in our trajectory. We are on track to deliver 60 bananas to the Moon by end of 2026. At our current cost structure, that represents roughly $22.8 billion in operational expenses. We have $847 million in the bank. I am choosing to view this as a "growth opportunity."

I'd also like to address the rumors: no, I am not "living in the office." I have a very nice cot and a hotplate. The banana suit I've been wearing to meetings is a personal choice and not, as some board members have suggested, "a cry for help."

Believe in the banana.

— Richard "Rick" Bananaman
Founder & CEO, Moon Bananas Inc.
(Legal name change pending)

Key Financial Metrics — Q4 2025

Revenue: $0.00
Total Expenses: $4,712,000,000
Net Income: -$4,712,000,000
Bananas Delivered: 14
Cost Per Banana: $336,571,428.57
Bananas Lost in Transit: 9 (we prefer the term "cosmically redeployed")
Bananas Achieved Orbit but Missed Moon: 3 (still out there somewhere, Godspeed)
Employee Morale: Surprisingly high
Investor Morale: Less high
Banana Morale: Unknowable

Revenue Model Update

We are pleased to announce that we are still "exploring monetization strategies." Our current revenue model can be summarized as follows:

Step 1: Ship bananas to the Moon
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit

We have hired McKinsey to help us figure out Step 2. They have billed us $14 million so far and their current recommendation is "have you considered not shipping bananas to the Moon?" We have terminated the engagement.

Competitive Landscape

We are pleased to report that we have no competitors. Nobody else is doing this. We checked. We asked around. Everyone we spoke to responded with some variation of "why would anyone do this?" which we interpret as a strong competitive moat.

There are unconfirmed reports that Blue Origin is exploring a "Lunar Mango" initiative, but we believe this is a rumor started by our own marketing team to justify a higher valuation. We have asked them to stop. They have not stopped.

R&D Highlights

BananaChain™: Our proprietary blockchain for banana tracking is now live. Each banana is assigned a unique NFT (Non-Fungible Tropical fruit) that tracks its journey from farm to launch pad to Moon. We have spent $40 million on this technology. Exactly zero customers have asked for it. We remain committed.

Cryo-Banana Technology: Our flash-freezing process now preserves banana flavor at 94.7% fidelity, up from 91.2%. The remaining 5.3% is described by taste testers as "a faint sense of existential dread, but in a tropical way."

Banana Capsule v3.1: The new capsule design reduces banana bruising during re-entry by 60%. This is a major improvement over v3.0, which had a 100% banana bruising rate because we forgot to add padding. We have fired the responsible engineer. We have rehired the responsible engineer. Good banana engineers are hard to find.

ESG Report

Environmental: Each banana delivery produces approximately 2,400 tons of CO2. We offset this by planting one (1) tree per launch. We are aware this is not sufficient. The tree is doing its best.

Social: We have brought joy to approximately 14 people (the banana recipients). We have brought confusion to approximately 8 billion people (everyone else). Net social impact: unclear.

Governance: Our board of directors consists of seven members, one of whom is a banana. The banana has never voted against a motion. It has also never voted for a motion. We count this as an abstention. The banana's attendance record is perfect.

Risk Factors

Investors should be aware of the following risk factors:

• We may never make money
• We will almost certainly never make money
• The entire concept may be fundamentally flawed
• Several physicists have described our business model as "aggressively pointless"
• Our CEO has started referring to himself exclusively in the third person and as "The Banana King"
• There is a non-zero chance that one of our banana rockets hits something important
• Banana prices may fluctuate (this is the least of our problems)
• We are being investigated by three different regulatory agencies, none of which seem to know which laws we're breaking because nobody wrote laws about this
• The Moon might not even want bananas

Forward-Looking Statements

This report contains forward-looking statements, including but not limited to: "we will eventually figure this out," "the banana market on the Moon is virtually untapped," and "what's the worst that could happen?" These statements are based on our current expectations, which are based on optimism, caffeine, and a PowerPoint deck from 2024 that we keep showing investors because the graphs go up and to the right.

Actual results may differ materially from these projections. Actual results will almost certainly differ materially from these projections. We would be shocked if actual results did not differ materially from these projections.

Upcoming Milestones

• Q1 2026: First banana delivery to the Moon's south pole (uncharted banana territory)
• Q2 2026: Launch of subscription service — "Banana of the Month Club (Lunar Edition)"
• Q3 2026: Planned IPO (Initial Potassium Offering) on NASDAQ
• Q4 2026: First banana delivered to Mars (stretch goal / fever dream)
• 2027: Profitability (lol)
• 2030: Establish permanent Banana Embassy on the Moon
• 2035: Retire to a banana farm on Earth. Grow bananas normally. Weep.

This document is not financial advice. This document is not banana advice. This document is not advice of any kind. If you invested in this company based on anything written here, please contact our legal team, who are also confused. BNNA stock does not exist. Yet. Maybe. We're looking into it. Our lawyers have asked us to stop saying that.